傻傻的

这是我今月第一扁BLOG

没什么事, 着因为心请不太好而已

刚上网,没人在上,所以就傻傻的带在那儿

今天的课不知道会不会如何吗

我快疯了

just 2 days , that shit things now become more obvious .
i dont wanna given up , coz if i given up ,
i will become a big loser.

no one care about me , no one wanna know , no one will understand .
even the most knowful person , just silently gone .

i’m not stronger anymore .
now i’m is like just a heart-less person
being played by the life

My Life and The Devil

W.X3.M®
67_4-4rom de White-Shine _=_Xian_XiA-hn_Xian-G _=_Makmur Wijaya
29-01-2009_21.26.21.44

Damn.........

bad-mood tonight

feeling little shit tonight


there’s a word , the word i can’t say ...
even i past away from this world , that word , always can’t say .

Gambling with my life
Gambling my life with the devil

My heart already blind , blind of something can’t understand , can’t describe .

Freezing
Blind
Hurting

Harus bertahan atau menerimanya dengan penuh kesakitan
Menunggu kepastian takberujung untuk masa depan .....
Tak pernah bisa menjawab

Lebih baik butakan saja penglihatanku
Lumpuhkan saja diriku

Dengan diberi karunia sebaik ini saja , wa tak pernah membahagiakan diri sendiri .
mungkin dengan sedikit kekurangan , wa bisa memaknai hidup lebih baik .

Lebih baik diam , daripada berbicara , tapi sia-sia
Lebih baik diam , daripada membuat masalah

Mengingkari kenyataan , berpura-pura pada dunia ......

행복하게 살아줘

W.X3.M®
67_4-4rom de White-Shine _=_Xian_XiA-hn_Xian-G _=_Makmur Wijaya
24-01-2009_20.41.22.00

행복하게 살아줘 read as haengbokage sarajweo
행복하게 살아줘 means live happily

jeouman haengbokage sarajweo

Live happily was my dream passing these days....

feeling too broken today ....
thinking too much shit things
what the hell it is ....

fingers flowing slowly up the keyboard ,
writing down heart voice of ones

the story that don’t know when begin , when finish
the story that don’t know where it’s began , where will end ...

2 days till lunar new year , i don’t wanna greets the new year with many preparation .

24......25.....then 26..... , it’s Lunar New Year ...
what i get from the lunar ?

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Teriakan tak bergeming
Tangisan tak membasahi

Apa , Kenapa , Mengapa , Untuk Apa ?

Sesuatu , berujung , berujung dengan kekosongan

I even don’t know why i can’t move on , what must i do ?

Waktu juga akan melewatkan semua ini
Waktu akan menghilangkannya ....
Apa daya .....

shining heart with shining pain ................................

Too much hurt can make someone being mellow-sacratic ~~~ ......

W.X3.M^®

67_4-4rom de White-Shine _=_Xian_XiA-hn_Xian-G _=_Makmur Wijaya

20-01-2009_21.42.21.49

Barrack Obama Inauguration Day’s

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hurting own feeling~~

Feeling own hurting~~

Heart~Feel~Hurt ~ ~ Are they same ?

Feeling Hurting Heart

Hurting Heart and Feeling

Feel Hurt

Hurt Heart

Just something to tell.....

Too much hurt can make someone being mellow-sacratic ~~~ ......

Kata tak ter-rangkai , hidup tak berkerangka , mati pun sia-sia

W.X3.M^®

67_4-4rom de White-Shine _=_Xian_XiA-hn_Xian-G _=_Makmur Wijaya

18-01-2009_20.25.21.10

eat very full tonight .

after dinner , then some cookies and bread .

hem , very full .....

yesterday also , went to indra’s home stay weekend ...

so tonight , wanted go to sleep earlier .

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

some scene of life makes me feeling uncomfortable ......

i don’t know ..... .....

anything have changed ...

i don’t think so , for what i still alive now ...... hm....

lunar new year coming soon ....

havn’t something special moment greeting this new year .....

still writing some chapter of life-story

still changing the life story

still searching , still looking

still thinking , still dreaming

freezing

under tension , under domination

i wanna life should go on ...

life must changed or

the world must changed ..... ?????

me

my life

my world

my destiny

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

masi lum kembali ngutak-ngatik lirik ....

entah mengapa , merasa diri sendiri bukan orang yang puitis banget ...

Is writing a song very difficult ?

bagian puitis , menjadikan lirik lebih indah dan bermakna

emosi nya harus ada .

Disatu sisi jika mengulang emosi yang pernah ada , wa malas en takut .

Sejauh ini uda keluar dari keadaan kurang menyenangkan ,

tak lagi mencemaskan hal-hal tak penting

tak lagi menangisi hal-hal konyol .

Jika harus kembali kesana , demi menemukan emosi yang bagus ,

I’m tired .

Capek , en takut setelah pergi , tak mampu kembali lagi .

Disisi lain , tanpa emosi , lirik akan susah dibuat .

i think , i must studied more .

Hidup selain disibukkan aktivitas rutin , juga dipenuhi beban pikiran ,

beban bathin , beban psikologis .

luka lahir bathin , cedera jasmani rohani .

Sejauh merasa , merasa segala sesuatu tak menyenangkan .

But di balik semuanya , sisi lain diriku mengatakan .

“ That’s the happiness , passing day with routinity .

With friends , family , and peoples “ .

In the other side , i know , what i want , the dreams , haven’t be realized .

But this life was like this . Be a mature thinker , that all not only pain .

There’re also happiness . Only your feeling . That’s the feeling “

hurting own self , hurting another .....

i don’t wanna talk to another , i wanna put in myself .

yaph , selfishness

Kata tak ter-rangkai , hidup tak berkerangka , mati pun sia-sia

luka tak terhapus , malah lebih terlihat .... nyata

aku...lumpuh ...

harus kembali menata pikiran , menenangkan hati , belajar berdiri ,

berjalan , berlari ....

Must i said that : “ It’s better if i’m blind .

I dont wanna see anything again . ??????? ”

Di usia menginjak 20 , wa ingin ini semua berakhir .

Wa pengen di ulang tahun ke 20 . Wa bisa lebih tahu arti hidup .

I wanna when I’m 20 years old . I have , the real new , full happiness chapter

( 16 , 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 ............... ................. .................. ................... .................... )

Making loneliness all the more obvious

W.X3.M^®
13-01-2009_20.39.20.54
Making loneliness all the more obvious

this time , listening some songs feels very calming

loneliness more obvious......

stopping in this place

was the ..... most hurt step .....

steping foward , i don’t know how

this time , listening some songs feels very calming

我都学不会

把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠

笑不能笑

哭不敢哭

能不能不爱了

因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了

却无法把你忘了

then , the heart feezing

waiting the time melting .....

after snowing , i will melting

built from the ice ....

Shit!~!!!!

Suddenly , feeling wanna typing something ....

Today , i haven’t mood for repair or making lyrics.

Beberapa ari ini , wa ditenggelamkan oleh lagunya TVXQ , Love in the Ice and Neoul Baraboda ( After Glow ) ....

Inti dari lyricnya ga terlalu gimana juga la .

Lagunya juga gak sakratis amat .... yach mellow .... sejujurnya .

Hmm..ujian akhir 2 minggu ini kekna akan mulus banget .

I must get A for this term .

Hm...nothing mood tonight ... wanna sleep earlier .

Appa , Amma . Norul Saranghae .... !!!!!

Annyong , Cheoljae ....

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Shit !

abis online pagi .

Setelah ampe di rumah , then having lunch .

Wa tersentak . Read the synopsis of a book , who brought by my sister . Shit there is !!!!!

Dari semalam emang uda mau rencana nulis blog . Wa lagi capek .....!

seolah dunia serba salah

ini salah , itu salah , semua serba salah

runtuhkan saja dunia

biarkan semua kesalahan lenyap

seiring isak , teriakan , makian , dan derita .

era kegelapan datang kembali

haruskah awal tahun ini diselimuti kegelapan lagi ?

in my dream , i dreaming the fighting of horse and bull , then the horse hurting .

Is this the sign ?

ketika tak lagi memperdulikan dunia

semuanya datang menghadang .

kapan harus selesai ?

ketika tersesat di dunia yang salah

apakah jalan keluar hanya kebinasaan ?

menyesali masuk ke dunia yang salah

melihat kebelakang penuh kegelapan

butakan saja aku ,

agar ku tak lagi takut berjalan ke belakang .

berjalan ke belakang adalah salah

lebih bodoh lagi bila berjalan kedepan , dan mengikuti arus

dan semakin menjadi-jadi .

semua serba salah

dunia atau aku yang salah

sesal tercipta seperti ini .

i’ve walking at wrong way .

make me blind , then i willn’t see anything again .

it’s enough , i have see all things i hav see it .

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

after reading some chapter from that book , feelings waking up .

actually , i’m not ready .

i don’t know when i will

hopes it’s comes earlier .

my pain come from love

my sins and pains come from my life

keep trying and believed i can

i think that’s the way

i hav a thought , that i havn’t an artistic

i need more practice , and destiny .

Art

Music

Entertainment

I like to get in to there .

Tired...

really tired......

Hoping i’m ready earlier ..

ready stepping fowards again !!

허겡디!!!!

annyong...cheoljae